Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Dating politics

In a city the size of Jerusalem it's inevitable that you're going to bump into people you know at almost every turn; finding a place to go on a quiet date, particularly that awkward first encounter, is not an easy task and thank goodness not one that I have to worry about anymore - just another of the pleasures of being married!

This puts me on the other side of the picture - I'm now the one who has to behave appropriately when I bump into a friend with a date on his or her arm. Yesterday evening, my father in law won big brownie points by taking us out to dinner. As he's as big a carnivore as I am, we decided to allow him to take us to Lugar where the menu is interesting, steaks excellent and atmosphere funky.

As we were most of the way through our main course, my beloved pointed out a friend of mine heading away from the front door, obviously having been turned away as the place was full to bursting - I amused myself by sending a cheeky text suggesting that he booked next time.

Not 5 minutes had passed when I clocked another friend coming across the courtyard with a rather attractive young lady on his arm. It appeared that he had a reservation but as he hadn't spotted me I was left in the delicate position of deciding how to make my presence known to him. To have got up and charged across to slap him on the back and discuss how badly his team is doing might well have embarrassed him - although it ultimately proved not to be a first date as I suspected (Lugar is probably a 3rd date at earliest place), I don't think it's fair to impose the "meeting the friends" stage too early. I took the easy option out in the end - gave him a call, recommended the entrecote, and waved when he turned to try to figure out where I was. On the way out, I gave him a wave as her back was facing me.

So here's the question - what is appropriate etiquette when you spot someone with a date who you have not yet been introduced to? Is it polite to introduce yourself or should you make yourself scarce? Feedback please!

Gilly

p.s. I know that there are more weighty items that I should be commenting on right now but I haven't really figured out the conflicting emotions - later I promise.

5 comments:

Rachel said...

Not recommended: We have been known to stick out our tongues at said friends, while they are out on a date. Recommended: Tzahko, a hidden treasure in the shuk. Their business card is somewhere...can't seem to find it...but I can explain to you how to get there as you are shuk-savvy.

Karl said...

I'd say to ignore him if hes on the other side of the resturant but if you obvious meet him/ them, eg sitting int the next table, be as friendly as you normally would - and introduce yourself to their date. I find there is nothing worse than meeting someone you know who then totally blanks you because you are on a date.

tafka PP said...

Bless you- you've inspired me to post about something not blue or orange!

As for your question re etiquette: I would say "Do unto others..." ;-)

Anonymous said...

"I know that there are more weighty items that I should be commenting on right now but I haven't really figured out the conflicting emotions - later I promise."

I know what you mean, 4-1, the worst result in 25 years, I know its only a friendly to Denmark of all people but still...

YB

Anonymous said...

Sheesh, some wingman you are!

The correct behaviour is: 1. Introduce yourself into the couples space as if you were just walking by and are totally surprised by the encounter. (coming back from the WC in the restaurant) 2. Greet your friend as if you are David stumbling across Absolum after a long absence but keep it really short. 3. Graciously compliment the girl on her beauty and if she manages anything other than a stupid smile ... her intelligence as well. 3. Quickly make your very gracious and charming exit but after three steps, hastilly return and (under your breath but not too under) deeply thank your buddy for that stock tip he gave you on which youd CLEANED UP.

THAT'S how a wing man does it.